Friday, April 9, 2010

Guess Who's Back? Back Again.

It's story time, kids! Grab a coffee and a Slanket.

So, I got a call from one of my recruiters at the beginning of the week while my mom was in town visiting. Super Nice Recruiter Lady had this job that just reopened, it was waaay lower than I could live on salary-wise. But she thought of me anyway since it was a great position with a great company. Even though I had two prospects on the line for more than what I needed to live off of financially, I gave her the green light to submit my resume to this company because they are That Rad. Less than 12 hours later I get a phone call that they'd like to do a phone interview in a matter of hours and then if they liked me they wanted to do an in person interview within the hour following. Whaaa??? Okay.

I had the phone interview with the Coolest Sounding Potential Co-Worker and they decided that they had to meet me immediately because I am sooooo awesome. Or they wanted to make sure I didn't have two heads. And the way I can talk for hours on end about nothing in particular, I am assuming it was the latter. I plopped my mom in the car and told her to bring a book because I might be in the interview for half an hour or so. TWO HOURS LATER
(sorry Mom!)... I am out of a fantastic interview with the Most Awesome Potential Boss Lady and collected this during my stay:Wednesday morning I get a call from my recruiter saying they loved me, but could I do another phone interview that day? Seriously? I was on my way out the door to drop my mom off at the airport (boo, I miss my mommy) and I told her it would have to be sometime in the afternoon. The phone interview with team member #3 was set up for the afternoon and she was just as delightful as the previous people I had spoken with! Everything was going great... except for the salary issue which was weighing heavily in the air. I'm not proud. I'm not (completely) snobby. I just need enough to support my dog and myself and what was offered was not cutting it. Not by a long shot. So I was stressing out. If you know me well, when I stress it's because it's major. And it isn't pretty.

A few hours after interview #3 I get word that they want me to come in to the office the next morning for interview #4. FOUR interviews. I am not interviewing for the CEO position, mind you. Not even for the VP of Jack Assery (which I would totally rock at). So, this was major. Major in the sense of wtf?? But more major in the sense of wow, they are really serious and they really must like me, but maybe they aren't sure if they like me because they keep having to have other team members take a look at me and omg what if they are on the fence now because I am stressing out so much that I have Pimple Fest 2010 staking tents into the ground that is MY FACE!!! Agggghhhhh!!!! The STRESSSS!!!!!!

So, I put forth a brave facade, didn't sleep at all the night before and drove the 45 minute rush hour commute to the office for My Most Daunting Interview Yet. For I was to meet with the boss' boss. Mr. Button Down. Mr. Proper. Mr. I Might Poop My Pants Because He Sounds Really Tough.

Two and a HALF hours later, not only have I collected this, (note the important title change, please. also note the rip after interview #4. it was the stress.):
...but I have met with Mr. Scary Boss Man. And he's Completely Awesome. Firstly, he came in, shook my hand and then offered me a bottle of Purell since he had a cold. How endearing is that?! Secondly, he's British. I'm in. I'm easily swayed. Thirdly, NOT scary. NOT mean! We had a very pleasant conversation, discussed London a bit and I cannot wait to work with him. That said, I was extremely chuffed (look it up) to have put on an extra layer of antiperspirant that morning.

A few hours came and went and then I got the call. My recruiter said they love me! They really love me!! I got the offer. I was on cloud nine and soaring through the moonlit night! O
kay, it was still daytime, but it just doesn't pack the same punch. But then there was that pesky salary issue. Oh God. Oh no, please God, don't get me this far and then yank it away before it even begins! My recruiter informed me that she would ask Company M (like you don't know who it is anyway, I didn't blur it out that well on purpose) to resubmit their contract at a higher rate, but if that failed she'd have to go to her higher ups and see if they would be willing to take a pretty massive cut off my contract in order to get me to where I need to be. This would more than likely put them in the negative range and that just wouldn't happen, so... I waited. And waited. Then she called me and said that the Company was at the top of their budget for the position and couldn't revise the contract order. Crap. Balls of Flaming Crap.

So, now it was up to the recruiting firm. Another 12 hours and 3 zits later, I get a phone call from the recruiter. This morning actually. As I was still in the sleep haze that is me until roughly 4pm. "Hi... It's Nice Recruiter Lady." Uh oh. She sounds pretty unenthusiastic. "I just wanted to let you know that I talked to Company M and... [static! massive amounts of static!] really it's just a technical thing right now, but I just wanted to let you know...[ssscccrrrrr...scccchhhhrrrrr... what the EFF, T-Mobile!!! C'MON!!!!!!] do you still want to accept their offer?" OMG OMG OMG WHAT?! Are they not able to raise the salary to livable standards?? I am FREAKING OUT!!

Me: "Um, wait." "Did you say that you were unable to raise the salary on your end?"

Nice Recruiter Lady: "Oh no, I was saying that I spoke with Company M first thing this morning and she said if they had to raise the salary they would do it because they didn't want to lose you."

Me: HOLY. LORD. "Oh, wonderful. Then yes, I absolutely accept their offer and I look forward to working with them." Smooth. As. Silk. But inside I was feeling like a teenager on prom night.

And then I did this. Please excuse my appearance first thing in the morning.
And then there was a lot of jumping, dancing, motion too fast to be seen by the naked eye. Oh, and best feeling ever: canceling job alert emails and deactivating my job board profiles that have been active for over a year. :-)