I'm ALIVE!

Well, I almost made it blogging all 30 days of November. Stupid head cold. Not to mention I was uber busy with the BFF's Most Awesome Baby Shower Ever. Blog to be posted on that in a day or twelve. The big news of the day in Dallas is... IT SNOWED!! This is tres exciting for many reasons:

1. It hardly EVER snows here. We usually get a "wintry mix" a few times in January or February which is a lame term for rain+snow. OR the deadly, much lamer ice storms which results in the city being covered in sheets of ice and every retard with 4 wheel drive thinking it suddenly gives them traction. On ICE. Then they proceed to drive like asshats on all of the roads and end up smashing into other people. So. Dumb.
   
   
2. It wasn't a for sure in the forecast, so it was a BIG surprise upon awakening this morning! Last night, the news said there was a chance of light snow mixed with rain... maybe. And every time they say that, it results in a big, fat nothing. So we were all pretty much surprised this morning when there were actual FLAKES and accumulation on the grass! Yaaaaay!
   
   
3. It's barely December and the white stuff fell on The Big D. I might be wrong, but I don't remember a snowfall of any size this early in the season in the 11 years I have lived here. Like I said, I might be wrong...

Anyway, DFW freaks out when it rains, so snow made everyone rush to their Twitter/Facebook/Tumblr./MySpace (do people still use MySpace?) accounts to post something like "OMG!! SNOWWWWWW!!" and thus a landslide of "In Texas??", "You suck!!", and "REALLY?!" all came to fruition.

It was like a snowstorm hit the social networking sites. It was great. :-)
Snow Dog.
Moments later - Cold, Wuss Dog.

Still In A Coma.

That's all.
Well, and that fresh whipped cream is the way to go.
Now that's all.

I'm In A Tofurky Coma.

So, all I have for you are "how to make a super easy cranberry sauce" pictures. I apologize. Orange zest and sugar. Zest me, baby. Add cranberries (zah-hahm-bee, zah-hahm-bee-eh-eh-eh-eh ohh-oh-ohh-oh-ohh-oh. sorry.) and a cup of water. Chop and add walnuts or pecans. Admire your handiwork for a moment... Ooooh, pretty! Boil for a few to let the flavors marry and let cool before putting into containers and storing in fridge to set. Voila! Oh, and then whip up some pumpkin dessert and rolls just because you have all of that free time. P.S. If you didn't get the cranberries/zombie reference, you're not cool enough to be my friend.

P.P.S. I grabbed a super long strand of pearls on my way out the door this morning, looped them around my neck twice and then secured the mess with a brooch. It threw rainbows all over the car on the trip to family time every time it caught the sun. Check it out!
Prism rainbows on my face! Prism rainbows on my face!
Word?

It Really Doesn't Take Much.

Oh goodness. I'm pretty excited. Thanksgiving is going to ROCK for me this year! Last year I didn't buy this since I was freshly laid off and didn't want to spend money on gas, let alone non-essential nourishment. This year, however, Whole Paycheck decided to put this gem of a feast on sale for $16.99. That's $9 off the regular price! I mean, how could I pass this up?? Instead of having to eat a cream cheese and chive taquito from 7-Eleven whilst watching my family devour leftovers, I will be having day after day of delicious, scrumptious, amazing amazingness that is... the Tofurky Vegetarian Feast!!
Behold. Excalibur!
Look at that beautiful Apricot Sesame Soy glaze! Oh, baby!
Along with the "Giblet" Gravy and Cranberry and Apple Dumplings, they give us... Tofurky Jurky Wishstix! It's in place of the wishbone so you can still make your wish with someone. How thoughtful is that? Sigh... :-)

It Doesn't Take Much.

This makes me giggle.
So does this.
And this.
This one does, too.
And especially this one.
Um... Okay... Right? Allow me to fill you in. You see, I grew up in a nice, Christian household. Went to a nice, Christian private school. Went to a nice, Christian church on Sundays (sometimes Wednesdays, too). And have very nice, Christian parents. Parents who didn't want me to say words like butt or fart.

That said, they made up nicer sounding words to take their place. Butt became derriere, pee became "water come out" (I am not kidding you), poop became mess (As in, dude, I need to go make a mess. Be right back.), etc etc etc. Well, neither toot, poot, or fluffy were nice enough for them, so they deemed the chosen word to be... Sparkle. As in, I just sparkled and it smells like roses. Such as, Come back here, Sparkle Pants!

Sparkle. And to this day, at 31 years of age, I still giggle like a dork every time I hear and/or see the word. Thanks Mom & Dad.

This one's funny because it looks like they're sparkling. You're welcome. ;-)

Tonight, I Am Lame.

Since I am uber tired tonight, I give you this simple post. Really, it's more grodie to the max than simple.

I got this email to join some social networking site (ugh, like there needs to be another?!) and these are the people they are trying to entice me with. Really??REALLY?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!
Nothing entices me more than a bear on the phone flashing armpit. Gawd, armpits are so gross.

Pomegranates And Pubs.

Good LORD the bff brought me the best pomegranate from her tree in NoCal! I mean, LOOK at it! Have MERCY! It's so gorgeous, it made my nail polish chip! {please ignore that}

What says winter better than a pomegranate? Look at the rich holiday color...

The juiciness...

The pop!

And then. There was this.
Which involved this.
And in turn, equaled this. Except it was dark. I took this yesterday. Forgive me.