It Really Doesn't Take Much.

Oh goodness. I'm pretty excited. Thanksgiving is going to ROCK for me this year! Last year I didn't buy this since I was freshly laid off and didn't want to spend money on gas, let alone non-essential nourishment. This year, however, Whole Paycheck decided to put this gem of a feast on sale for $16.99. That's $9 off the regular price! I mean, how could I pass this up?? Instead of having to eat a cream cheese and chive taquito from 7-Eleven whilst watching my family devour leftovers, I will be having day after day of delicious, scrumptious, amazing amazingness that is... the Tofurky Vegetarian Feast!!
Behold. Excalibur!
Look at that beautiful Apricot Sesame Soy glaze! Oh, baby!
Along with the "Giblet" Gravy and Cranberry and Apple Dumplings, they give us... Tofurky Jurky Wishstix! It's in place of the wishbone so you can still make your wish with someone. How thoughtful is that? Sigh... :-)

It Doesn't Take Much.

This makes me giggle.
So does this.
And this.
This one does, too.
And especially this one.
Um... Okay... Right? Allow me to fill you in. You see, I grew up in a nice, Christian household. Went to a nice, Christian private school. Went to a nice, Christian church on Sundays (sometimes Wednesdays, too). And have very nice, Christian parents. Parents who didn't want me to say words like butt or fart.

That said, they made up nicer sounding words to take their place. Butt became derriere, pee became "water come out" (I am not kidding you), poop became mess (As in, dude, I need to go make a mess. Be right back.), etc etc etc. Well, neither toot, poot, or fluffy were nice enough for them, so they deemed the chosen word to be... Sparkle. As in, I just sparkled and it smells like roses. Such as, Come back here, Sparkle Pants!

Sparkle. And to this day, at 31 years of age, I still giggle like a dork every time I hear and/or see the word. Thanks Mom & Dad.

This one's funny because it looks like they're sparkling. You're welcome. ;-)

Tonight, I Am Lame.

Since I am uber tired tonight, I give you this simple post. Really, it's more grodie to the max than simple.

I got this email to join some social networking site (ugh, like there needs to be another?!) and these are the people they are trying to entice me with. Really??REALLY?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!
Nothing entices me more than a bear on the phone flashing armpit. Gawd, armpits are so gross.

Pomegranates And Pubs.

Good LORD the bff brought me the best pomegranate from her tree in NoCal! I mean, LOOK at it! Have MERCY! It's so gorgeous, it made my nail polish chip! {please ignore that}

What says winter better than a pomegranate? Look at the rich holiday color...

The juiciness...

The pop!

And then. There was this.
Which involved this.
And in turn, equaled this. Except it was dark. I took this yesterday. Forgive me.

Ohhh, Maybe I'll Move To Chicago!

So, tonight I tried Chicago deep dish pizza for the first time. It was pretty delish. I have to say that I am still a NY style, thin crust, light sauce, extra cheese fan, but deep dish was like an entirely different meal. I don't know if I can even call it pizza, check it out:
Ohh, look! A rainbow umbrella outside! Too bad it was cold. Nothing says Unicorns like rainbows.But really the excitement was not the pie, but in waiting for dinner to come to our table. You see, I sat next to my little friend Allie. Allie is almost four. We were in a very deep discussion about her Nana's dog, Britches. I had to interject.

"You mean to tell me that your Nana's dog is named Pants??"

"TEEHEEHEEHEHEHEHEE!!!! YES!! PANTS! WANT SOME CHEESE?"

"No. Thank you."

Five minutes later, "Jessica! I love you." Smooch on the shoulder.

"Awww, I love you, too Allie." Smooch on the head.

"I LOVE YOU MORE THAN... PANTS-CHEESE!!!!!!!!!" And then it was over. How can the adults at the table possibly go on for the rest of the night without 706 more references to Pants-Cheese?

And then a few of us got felt up under the table.

Oh-Ayech. EYE-OH!

Yep, that's one of Ohio's finest People Of Walmart. And yes, during this insanely long bout of unemployment, I have even been considering looking in places like Ohio. Why? Because Ohio sounds funny. I just can't do gassy classy though. P.S. this blog's title was me attempting to spell Ohio. How the heck do you spell the letter "H"?

I've also considered moving to Minnesota for the following reasons:

• It snows there.
• I'm 1/4 Swedish, so I'd be amongst my people.
• I watched New Girl In Town and think maybe I need to live in a small town filled with people who have funny accents and bake casseroles for you. Not to mention try to set you up with Harry Connick, Jr.

I have a bunch of places I wouldn't mind living. San Jose/San Francisco (the BFF lives there), anywhere on the East Coast (never been. want to.). Canada. I love Canada. There's ice hockey, poutine, free health care, friendly people, food labels en francais, clean air (for the most part), and uber cool temps. Not a bad place even if it has a few hosers, eh?

Portland, OR is also a place I have considered since it gets me that much closer to Seattle. And it looks cool. I have never been to Portland. And I know, like, one person who lives there and she's rad. Even though I haven't seen her since 7th grade.

But for serious. I need to be back home in Sea-town. I never imagined the journey would be so taxing or take so long. People tell me that if it's meant to be, it will happen without a hitch. But what about that saying that goes something like things that are worth it aren't easy?

Holy Nuggets, I'm Tired.

That said, this post will be short and sweet - like me. Gag. Sorry. Tired, remember? So, I have a lot of reading to do. I need to finish the current series that I am on (Sookie Stackhouse, i.e. what True Blood was adapted from) and then I get to dive into these puppies brought by the BFF. She kinds rocks. Pretty much hardcore. And now I have to excuse myself in order to read 59 blog entries on my Google Reader and 248 tweets. I've been offline today, so I am behind on keeping in touch with the world. And then I am going to give into this sushi coma from a fabulous dinner with these three:Not to mention, I need to get started on those real books. Nighters!